When the person who hurts you is yourself..
When the one who let’s you down stares back from the mirror..
When the torment comes from your head and the pain is in your core..
When the only one to blame is you..
And you just can’t cope anymore..
When the depth you get to is the crash at the bottom..
And you don’t know if you can claw your way back up..
A lump left on your head..
Somehow through all the pain you’re still glad you’re not dead
Shadows dance within these walls
Darkened as the daylight falls
Holding me within their grasp
They choke me to my final gasp
Spider in his webb looks on
Thinking of the days long gone
Spinning out the final thread
Watching me till I am dead
You know me through and through and through
Predicting all that I might do
But you I do not know at all
Glaring at me from the wall
I’m done, I say.. You’ve had your way
And as I kneel, I start to pray
Where is your god? You laugh and grin
Left you cold because of sin?
Ha, now I have you all alone
I shall enjoy your every moan
You foolish girl, you had the world
Now into darkness you’ll be hurled
I am, I exist, I wake up every day
I’m lost in the mist of my own lonely way
I’ve tried many times
Reached as far as I could
Drawn north and then south
Between bad and then good
I had to pretend it would all be ok
To live in a world where I am just a stray
I’ve cried many times
I am broken inside
Born lonely my heart
In the darkness I hide
I could write a million poems
Crafted carefully of words so old
Speak softly in the voice God gave
But still my truth would not be told
Some things we simply can’t convey
That dwell within our heart and soul
Pushed in this world, alone we bow
With endless longing to be whole
I heard her say that happiness
Is waking joyful to exist
Oh love – the only key to this
My eyes are shut when I am kissed
We’re people made of candle wax
Though light I shine is wasted here
I long to just be noticed too
I dance around but hide in fear
Let’s sing a pretty song to end
Sad notes and painful undertones
Hope someday through the mist of time
You’ll understand these skin and bones
Selfish people everywhere I find
Just talking of themselves all day
They want you if you’re useful, hey
But to your needs they suddenly are blind..
The train left without me, I’m not sure where it was headed exactly.. but it seemed to be where everyone else wanted to go, so I tried to get on board. It was just too full and I couldn’t fit in. I found myself battered, bruised and thrown back out.
So there I stood confused amongst the dust that rose in its wake, abandoned on the empty platform as the train sped away. I stared briefly before composing myself and dusting myself down. That was when I could see that my destiny was to walk a slow and lonely journey without fellow travellers.
It dawned on me that although my way would be different from theirs – less certain and often quite exhausting – it may be that I was the lucky one. I would have time to see things of beauty that would whizz past their windows. I would be able to spare time to stop and help other lone travellers, and perhaps hear their unique stories. I would have time to love in a different way. And as I set off on my journey, I realised that my baggage would only hinder me, so I threw it away and travelled empty handed.. stripped back down to how I once had arrived. FREE
Is there common ground
That we have found?
I’m yearning to belong
We are hurting
But the pain you hide
Somehow I know inside
Not a day goes by
That I don’t die
Another part of me
I am stranded
Won’t you walk with me
And find out what might be
Life is simply there
No-one can share
The path you have to take
We crave more
I’ve been searching years
An ocean made of tears
On this boat i drift
I cannot shift
My body will not move
I am foolish
That I chose the knife
Instead of living life
Read the message in
The rusty tin
I’m begging you to see
You are beauty
In ways most never are
I’ll love you from afar