I am

I am, I exist, I wake up every day
I’m lost in the mist of my own lonely way
I’ve tried many times
Reached as far as I could
Drawn north and then south
Between bad and then good

I had to pretend it would all be ok
To live in a world where I am just a stray
I’ve cried many times
I am broken inside
Born lonely my heart
In the darkness I hide

These Skin and Bones – poem

I could write a million poems
Crafted carefully of words so old
Speak softly in the voice God gave
But still my truth would not be told

Some things we simply can’t convey
That dwell within our heart and soul
Pushed in this world, alone we bow
With endless longing to be whole

I heard her say that happiness
Is waking joyful to exist
Oh love – the only key to this
My eyes are shut when I am kissed

We’re people made of candle wax
Though light I shine is wasted here
I long to just be noticed too
I dance around but hide in fear

Let’s sing a pretty song to end
Sad notes and painful undertones
Hope someday through the mist of time
You’ll understand these skin and bones

Disconnect poem

Is there common ground
That we have found?
I’m yearning to belong
We’re breathing
We are hurting
But the pain you hide
Somehow I know inside

Not a day goes by
That I don’t die
Another part of me
I’m losing
I am stranded
Won’t you walk with me
And find out what might be

Life is simply there
No-one can share
The path you have to take
We crave more
Real connection
I’ve been searching years
An ocean made of tears

On this boat i drift
I cannot shift
My body will not move
I’m lifeless
I am foolish
That I chose the knife
Instead of living life

Read the message in
The rusty tin
I’m begging you to see
You are beauty
And alive
In ways most never are
I’ll love you from afar

Forevermore

On the Wings of a Prayer

If I doubt you, God. If I doubt you. I look out and I see the feathered creatures of many different colours and sizes. To me, they are indescribable beauty. They are the place I go to see your face. I see you in their eyes and character. I hear you in their perfect song. I watch them fly so close to you. I envy how they know you so.. They belong.

So sweet and pure and full of life. Do they awaken feeling lost and void of purpose?
The way I do each and every day?
I know they don’t. I know they know their place and that they see your face the way I can only long. I hear you in their perfect song. I adore them. I want to adore you.. But wait.. Maybe I do

And Life.. (poem)

It has been an utter waste
As with food I cannot taste
All I have is nothingness
All I am.. No more, no less
A mass of cells
A cow with bells
Take her to market
Hope she sells
Lay down the carpet
Pop the cork
Feast on this banquet
With a fork
And knife
Look.. see
He has his wife

Home alone and shut the door
Lying heaped upon the floor
All I have is alcohol
All I crave is to be whole
A silly fool
Lies in a pool
Of tears and no-one
Hears her call
Open the window
Show yourself
Put on a good show
Cheers to health
And life
Look.. See
She has no life

Crashed

Bored, lonely, frustrated, scared, depressed, hopeless, vulnerable, angry..

I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. I hate who I am, I hate being me..

I crash down hard upon the sand

I bubble, froth and then disband

You cannot hold me in your arms

I am not real at all

I’m like a beam of light that flashed

Before it screeched its breaks and crashed

You cannot love a wreck like me

I am not lovable

Stand up upon the edge of time

And find a fragile dream of mine

You cannot make this one come true

I am not saveable